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The Internet Guide to Scotland

Travellers' Tale
kindly sent in by
Celia Collier

Celia visited Scotland in May 1997

I left on May 7. The flight was so long, it was depressing. I could only imagine how rough it was on my friend Joan, who I met via the Internet. She lives in Canberra Australia and her flight was 26 hours! That's the only reason why I didn't complain too much about mine. We had never met before putting our heads together to plan this trip. It was a bit scary because you hear horror stories about people who get along well through the computer and despise each other in person. I'm very glad to say that wasn't the case here. Liquor on international flights is free. I was onboard with a bunch of Brits who loved their drink. Once the booze kicked in, they quieted down.

I took a Globus tour called the "Highlands and Islands". We started in Glasgow. The weather was fair that first day, no rain at least. That started the next day when we headed south to Alloway, birthplace of Robert Burns. The best part about the Burns cottage was the gift shop! Wonderful to say the least and I dropped quite a few pounds Sterling there. We encountered hail with intermittent rain, and between the showers, the sun actually came out. The tour guide was knowledgeable and interesting. I had to laugh when he asked the group if we knew who wrote "Auld Lang Syne" and one of the ladies piped up, "Yes! Guy Lombardo!" After the shopping I did there, whenever we stopped along the remainder of the trip, I had to show everyone on the bus what I bought. <G> I think that was one of the biggest highlights for them because they were convinced I was trying to buy out Scotland. Alloway is a lovely village and I wouldn't mind going back to explore it a bit more.

We got back on the bus and headed for Carlisle castle, with a stop along the way at the Moffat woollen mill. This place was great. It had everything you could imagine all under one roof. We arrived at the castle in Carlisle amid light rain in the early afternoon. The guide was wonderful and he took the time to answer my numerous questions. He shared things with me that others on the group missed. I tucked all the information away for future use. We walked to the top of the keep to King David's chamber. Behind glass doors that once was used as his chapel, are carvings by prisoners when the chamber was used as a prison. Joan and I were about the only ones brave enough to go up to the battlements. It was worth the climb, even if we did get rained and hailed on. The view of the city is magnificent and should not be missed. The dungeons or prison is also not to be missed. It gives you an eerie feeling to see the holes in the walls where shackles were once embedded. The most eerie sight of all is the "Licking stones". Prisoners were cared for very poorly in years gone by and no water was given. The prisoners licked the stones for moisture. There are three deep grooves in the stones and it gave me the chills to realize those were made by human tongues. Within the quiet walls of this prison the song "Loch Lomond" was composed. It's an old Gaelic belief that if a Scotsman dies outside of his country, his soul travels the low road (underground) back to the land of his birth while the one who lives must take the high road (overland). The song was composed by two brothers who, on the morrow, one would live while the other perished. Hence the lyrics "Ye tak the high road and I'll tak the low road, and I'll be in Scotland afore ye." Sheds a whole new light on the song.

We stayed the first night in the beautiful English village of Wetheral. A short walk from the hotel is a railroad bridge you can walk on that gives a magnificent view of the river Eden. The next morning we headed back toward Scotland via Hadrian's Wall. It was very windy there but definitely worth the time. We stopped at the border for photos with the "Mad Piper." He wasn't mad, really, just a drunk who plays his pipes at the border for the tourists. If you photograph him, you have to leave him some change. I left him 50 pence. I didn't know it until after I got my photos developed, but the guy stared at my chest the entire time I was beside him. They have boulders that mark the border. Our guide said they used to have small signs up but the Scots kept stealing them and moving them further into England, to claim a bit more ground. <G>

We stopped in Jedburgh for lunch. Joan and I investigated the Abbey through the bars. We were too cheap to pay the admission fee. We did miss out on Mary, Queen of Scots house, which I regret. Then we went on to Abbotsford House at Melrose, home of Sir Walter Scott. Don't let the word 'house' fool you. This place was a bloody castle! I didn't care for the lady doing the tour; thought she was a bit staunch. This castle was my least favorite out of all the ones I saw. Anyway, we ended up in Edinburgh. Of course the lovely Scottish weather wasn't what the forecasters in the States predicted, so I in turn packed all wrong, caught a nasty cold because of all the stinking rain, and had to buy a new supply of winter clothes. My umbrella decided it liked Edinburgh and disappeared on me. Probably found a Scottish umbrella with one of those killer accents and headed for the hills. <G>

I was a bit disappointed with Edinburgh castle and Holyrood Palace, not with the fortifications, but with our 'local' tour guide who tried to rush us through everything. I did have about 10 minutes to shop at the gift shop at Edinburgh castle and I got a wrap that, with my sweater, provided a little more warmth. They rushed us once again through Holyrood and tried to give me only 5 minutes in the shop there. I wasn't feeling well and snapped at the guide that he'd just have to wait. My sister is fascinated by Mary, Queen of Scots, and I wasn't about to leave there without something for her. He waited.

We did have a free afternoon our last day in Edinburgh. Joan and I had a ball walking the Royal Mile and doing our best to buy out the shops. <G> I had most of my stuff sent home so I wouldn't have to fool with it. Being out in the lousy weather didn't help my cold, but the free afternoon did wonders for my nasty disposition. <G> I did find a heavy wool wrap with a scarf attached for a reasonable price, so I nabbed it.

The next day we went to Culloden battlefield and had a peek around. The battlefield is pretty much as it was during the era of the battle. There is a croft erected on the edge that shows how life was in that era. I was really sick by then. I made it through the 20 minute tape about the battle and what led up to it. I left the theater wondering why the Scots stood behind Bonnie Prince Charlie. The man was a jerk who never even thanked the Scots for their efforts on his behalf. Religion and politics had a lot to do with it, I'm sure. And, because of the Culloden incident, a clearing of the Highlands started, the wearing of the kilt and playing of the pipes were banned, and they did not regain these latter rights until like 70 years later. The guy was a definite jerk and, if not for the Scots risking everything for him, the Bonnie Prince would have died on the battlefield. Enough on that.

After the battlefield, we went on to Dundee and toward the town of Brora where Glamis Castle is located. Ticked me off because none of these places allowed photography of any kind inside. I did manage to film the dining room before I got caught. <G> Glamis was pretty neat and it is the most haunted castle in all of Scotland. I think I had a brush with a spirit myself. I was standing in Malcolm's bedroom' which they now use to display china and other mementos. I felt something tug on my skirt. I looked down and saw I stood close to a chair and thought I'd just caught the hem on that, so I moved away a couple steps. It happened again. Again I looked down and knew I wasn't close enough for it to have caught again, but I moved away again anyway and tried to listen to what the tour guide was telling us about the room. I'll be darned if it didn't happen again! After we went into the following room, I noticed stone benches built just inside the doorway and into the wall of the castle. Once everyone was inside, the tour guide said there's the ghost of a page who likes to sit there and trip people as they come through the door. She also said if he didn't get you here, he'd usually get you in Malcolm's room!

We spent a night in Aberdeen. Joan and I went in search of warmer clothes, since most of what I brought with me were casual dresses. We didn't find anything affordable, but we did find a tote that I could put most of my souvenirs in. The toilets were really bad in the hotel, and this was in the Holiday Inn! I was really sick and went to bed after calling for a plumber. The hotel sent up a porter and he told Joan that we just didn't know how to flush a toilet! Good thing I wasn't well or he'd of gotten a piece of my mind.

Then we went to Balmoral Castle, summer residence of the royals and because it is their residence, the only room we were allowed to look at was the ballroom. It was really cold but at least it didn't rain and the gardens are lovely. The river Dee is magnificent and we continued on our way along a one lane road that wound through the Grampian mountains and followed the river. I thought it was a one-way road, until we met another car! Yikes! But we made it and toured a whisky distillery, which I passed on because I was so sick. I sat in the coffee shop to wait for the others and one of the guides brought me a "wee dram" so I could have a taste. Lord that stuff was awful. I suppose it's an acquired taste. The only alcohol over there I found I liked was their beer, Tenents Lager. I was quite disappointed to get home to discover I can't buy it here. Bummer. We spent the night in Aviemore. I really liked it there and felt well enough to try and find me some more warm clothes.

Then we headed for what I consider the true Highlands, the area north of Inverness. We toured Dunrobin Castle and it was absolutely beautiful. No photography, of course, but I sure got lots of good shots from the outside. It's a stunning castle that is still occupied by the Sutherlands. This is one of the favorites on my list that I saw. The castle wasn't cold and dank, as some of the others had been. It felt lived in and had a 'family' touch and feel to it.

We headed on up toward Wick where we'd spend a couple days. We toured a Caithness glass factory that was just fabulous. I now have a deep affection for Caithness glass. <G> The next day we had our best weather yet. We started at Dunnet head, the northern most tip of Scotland, and had a look around. Bloody cold because of the wind, but it was the first bright blue day we had. We followed the road through Mey and stopped at a Kirk where the Queen Mum worships when she's in the area. One of the graves reached right out and tripped me. Yep, I sprained my ankle. Not too bad, but I did hobble around for a day or two. Anyway, after Mey we went on to John O' Groats to wait for the ferry to take us over to Orkney. Crossing the Pentland Firth wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, even though it is one of the most dangerous waterways in Europe. The firth is where the waters of the Atlantic Ocean and the North Sea meet. As a result the tide is pretty treacherous.

We had a different tour/driver while we were on Orkney. The guy made me so mad I wanted to strangle him by the end of the day. When I think of Orkney, I think of Vikings. When this guy thinks of Orkney, he thinks of WWI and WWII. There was a very nice chapel there that the Italian POW's built from scrap material. Ornate ironwork is nothing more than flattened out shell casings. The marble and stained glass is paint, but you'd never know it if you weren't told. The guide said that the Italians make the best POW's because they don't try to escape! In Scapa Flow there are battleships that were sunk during the first war that the hulls and masts are still visible along the beaches. The icing on the cake, as far as wanting to smack the tour guide goes, was when, after complaining about how tight our time schedule was, he stopped for a good ten minutes to show us a cat playground next to this lady's house who owns 16 of the creatures. I couldn't believe it! I can see cats in the States and, Scottish or not, I'm allergic to them all. I finally had enough, stood up in my seat and yelled "Who cares!" He got the hint and stepped on the gas.

We got to see Skara Brae, a Neolithic village that has been remarkable preserved in its natural state. The path that leads to it, though, goes through a cow field. Talk about stink! It was all worth it to see these prehistoric ruins. We did get to linger there, so I had some time for my temper to cool. Then we saw the Ring of Brodgar and, again, the guide tried to rush us through that part. Tough. I paid a lot of money for this trip of a lifetime, I was taking my time. I'm sure the urge to wrap fingers around throats was mutual. We got to stop for a whole half hour in Kirkwall to use the potty and shop. Yeah, right. Again, he had to wait because I refused to rush. So I was pretty beat by the time we crossed the firth again and made it back to our hotel in Wick.

The next day we took a drive through Thurso, simply because I asked our regular guide and driver if they would. Otherwise we'd of just skimmed the outskirts. After having my books set there, I had to see it and was glad they accommodated me. We stopped at the Kyle of Tongue for photos and toilets. The highlight was the Tongue Hotel. Lots of snide chuckles and such as we photographed the sign. Then we headed on down the coast toward Ullapool. The scenery is magnificent, and the heather wasn't even in bloom. It laid dark against the moors and mountains and offered stark contrast to the bright yellow gorse that was in bloom.

That night we had an optional excursion on Loch Broom at Ullapool. I had signed up for it but dug in my heels real hard when I saw the boat they expected me to get on. This thing was so tiny, I half expected to see "SS Minnow" painted on the side. No way was I going to get on anything associated with Gilligan's Island. Other members of the group finally persuaded me to get on, so I did. I had them all laughing when I sang my own rendition of the Gilligan's Island theme, substituting names when appropriate. <G> Bloody cold again and the whole point of the cruise was to see seals, whales, and bird life. We were too early to see seals or whales and the only bird life I saw were seagulls. Can't see those in the States. <G>

The next day we toured some gardens outside of Ullapool. I can't remember the name of them. Impressed me, in case you couldn't tell. Then we went on into Inverness and they dropped us in the middle of town for a couple hours so we could shop and get something to eat. Rained the entire time and I couldn't find an umbrella to buy that wasn't one of those huge ones.

After they picked us up we drove down the banks of Loch Ness and stopped for photos. The weather was pretty lousy but at least the rain stopped. No sign of Nessie, the monster, but I really didn't expect it. We had to take photos of Urquhart castle, on the banks of Loch Ness, as we drove by. The government purchased the ruins a few years ago and no longer allow coach groups to go through. Figures. We went on through Fort William and headed for Oban. The village is lovely and I wouldn't mind returning there some day.

The next day we took a ferry across to the Isle of Mull and drove it's length to another ferry that carried us over to the Isle of Iona. We toured a monastery there that was founded by St Columba forever ago. There were lots of Roman Catholics on the ferry making a pilgrimage to the Isle where the bones of the saint are buried. I never found them, nor the graves of Malcolm (from Macbeth fame), King David or Robert the Bruce. It wasn't easy to miss them since the graves aren't marked. It was another miserable, rainy day but I was able to dodge the storms for the most part. Not a lot to see there and I wouldn't return.

We spent one last night in Oban then headed for Glasgow where our tour would end. Along the way we stopped on the "Bonnie, Bonnie banks of Loch Lomond". It was cloudy out, but no rain, so I got some pretty awesome pictures of the loch. We had a pretty early evening in Glasgow and I found a photo processing place near our hotel and had my pictures developed. The next day we went to Bannockburn and toured that battlefield. It was pretty awesome, even though it was raining, again. An elderly gentleman was walking his dog and heard me talking as I filmed. He asked if their lovely climate had given me a cold. <G> I really liked the statue of Robert the Bruce erected there that looks over the battlefield. We didn't get to tour Stirling Castle, which disappointed me, but we did stop for photos at the base of the cliff it's perched on.

After the tour ended Joan and I rented a car so we could drive to Dornie and visit the Isle of Skye. I wanted Joan to drive, since she's used to driving on the wrong side of the road, but she had me drive because our car was a manual and she doesn't know how to drive one. So she navigated and kept me on the proper side of the road and off we went. We wound through Glen Orchy and across Rannoch Moor to the hauntingly beautiful valley of Glen Coe, which translates to 'the Weeping Valley'. The name has nothing to do with the horrible massacre that occurred there 300 years ago. It's named that because of all the rain they get. Thankfully we remained dry that day and the skies were blue as could be. Wonderful photo stops along the way. We headed on to Dornie. As we rounded a bend in the road, we were greeted by a magnificent view of Eilean Donan castle! Our hotel was just across the bay from the castle and we had a wonderful view of it from our room. In the distance we could clearly see the distant hills of Skye. It was so lovely.

The next day we headed to Skye and to the southern tip of the Isle where the Clan Donald center is located. We took our time touring the ruined castle, restored grounds, and pottering around in the shop. The castle is under plans to be rebuilt as soon as funds are raised. It will be something else when that happens, as the castle overlooks the Sound of Sleat. Just awesome. We left there and headed for the northern most tip and the stronghold of Macleod of Macleod. The drive was really beautiful and the flat mountains of Macleods Table begged us to stop and photograph them. Dunvegan Castle is the home of the Macleods and is still occupied today. There was an Italian film crew there filming a movie that no one at the castle knew the name of. It seemed strange walking around the castle and hearing helicopters overhead. We left there and headed toward Portree and the new bridge that takes us from Skye to the mainland. We stopped for photos several times along the way. It seemed we'd stop in one place, take photos, climb back in the car, go around the next bend and there was a view more spectacular than the one before. Granite mountains that slope down to green pasture land and some of the ugliest long-haired sheep and cows I'd ever seen in my life. The beauty of Scotland goes beyond words. It has to be seen in person to be appreciated.

The next day we didn't quite know what to do with ourselves so, since it was another beautiful day, we decided to make the hour drive back to Loch Ness, get some better photos of the loch and tour the castle. We were glad we did. Upon arrival at the castle I saw a path that led down to the water and away I went. I took off my shoes and waded into the water. Let me tell you, that water was COLD! But at least I can say I've been in Loch Ness. Given my sickness and all, I'm sure Joan thought I was quite insane. But I couldn't resist. I didn't see Nessie that time either. I'm sure if he'd of made an appearance while I was standing in the water waiting for my photo to be taken, I'd of scrambled out of there so fast, I wouldn't have needed a plane to get me back to Oklahoma. <G>

Urquhart castle is really a piece of work and it's such a shame it's in ruins. But it is some of the best maintained ruins of all that we saw. It was worth the trip. We went back to Dornie and the owner was telling us about a road called the 'Pass of the Cattle', the highest road in Britain, that was nearby and, if we followed the road to the end, we could clearly see the Isle of Skye and the Outer Hebrides. So off we went in search of the road. We ended up finding everything but the road we were looking for. We ended up in Plockton, which is a dinky little village that I just knew we'd get lost in. The roads were single track and very narrow. Joan asked me if we have roads that narrow in the States. I told her yes, but we call them sidewalks. <G>

The next day we had to drive back to Glasgow, get checked into our hotel at the airport, return the car and get ready to come home. We had more trouble getting into the city than we did getting out. Those people sure love their ring roads. I went round and round a few times trying to figure out which way I was supposed to be going. <G> We eventually made it and bright and early next morning we headed for our prospective homes. The flight home was two hours longer than the flight going in. No drunk Brits this time. Instead it was Italians who, about half-way through the flight, decided to serenade the group. <G> It was nice getting back home, but I most definitely left my heart in the Highlands. I could live there with no problem at all. In fact, I found a couple places that were for sale. <G> The government has a program that if you buy a ruins and restore it, you get up to 90% of the total costs reimbursed to you. That's tempting, isn't it?

I would love to return and do the isles more in depth. Skye is high upon my list, as is Barra, Lewis, Islay and the list goes on. My kids would love it there until they turned on the TV. They'd die with only 5 stations to choose from.

I would recommend that anyone taking a tour of the castles, that they purchase guidebooks of each. They are inexpensive and can help with your memories when you return home and try to remember which castle had what feature. Take lots of photos, number your rolls of film and keep notes on what is on each roll, keep a daily journal, spend lots of money and, when you board the plane to leave, promise to return one day.


Copyright Celia Collier - May 1997
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